PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS: TELLING “TAG” FOR CAM
A spirit of play ran throughout Conversation Among Masters (CAM) ’11. 
For starters, there was “a field trip,” a journey participants took in teams. This journey, organized like a treasure hunt, took CAM goers around and about the Grove Park Inn and brought them back to the lobby in time to be transported to an off-site venue where, among other things, they selected ribbons to embellish their nametags. The selection was broad, including options such as “Maxed Out,” “Stressed,” “Official Something,” “It’s all about ME,” “No Whining,” “Colors Outside the Lines,” “Plays Well with Others,” and many, many more. The energy around choosing just the right ribbons was good-natured and fun loving. It generated lots of laughter and a certain lightness of being.
Another day began with dancing, dessert and dinner—in that order. (It was Backwards Day.) Participants entered the dining room to the music of Wild Cherry singing the lyrics to “Play That Funky Music, White Boy.” They danced their way down the entrance corridor of welcomers like athletes entering a stadium. Afterwards, a participant observed, “You must have been relieved at the response. This was BOLD.”
Later in the day, Matt Weinstein, founding president of Playfair, Inc., led us in an extended period of play. Our afternoon play date began with a simple, non-threatening invitation to play followed with the creation of our own “secret handshake.” I felt like a kid again. This was followed with a game of Rock, Scissors, Papers, a game I had never played. This game moved quickly from pairs playing together to ULTIMATE Rock, Scissors, Paper. In ULTIMATE, the winner pumped his/her arms in the air while partners chanted their name(s). Winners sought out winners and with each round more voices were added to the chanting of fewer and fewer names until, finally, one woman emerged the winner and all of us were chanting her name: Nancy, Nancy, Nancy. She said,” It was surreal.”
With another partner, a dance was created, one uniquely ours. I’ve read about such things and thought them corny. Funny the difference between concept and experience!
Every time Dolly and I saw one another thereafter, we did “our” dance. It was joyful, light-hearted and fun.
The non-conference CAM ended with a costume party/banquet cum murder mystery. This was “dress-up” for adults. Costumes were from the 20s. The flapper finery was festive and fanciful. Some went all out; others started with basic black and added some embellishments—beads, a hat, a feather boa, gloves and more. (My hair ornament was purchased from a street merchant in Union Square—for a great price!) Professional thespians acted out the drama and we tried to pinpoint the murderer and the murderer’s motive. This was both outrageous—and engaging.
Rich conversation laced together all the parts. In the spirit of conversation in which people feel heard and seen, information was marshaled, complications acknowledged and something new, maybe or maybe not persuasive, was created.
Doug Ellis, photographer extraordinaire, documented CAM 11. See his pictures, with music!
Home now for a week, I am reflecting on the experiences of CAM and investigating play. I am something of an expert on play. When people ask me, “What do you do?” I often answer, “I play a lot.” I haven’t said it proudly, just matter-of-factly.
Now, as I have begun investigating the science of play, I am discovering that play, by definition, shows up as guilt-free purposelessness! Indeed, researcher, Stuart Brown,* founder of the National Institute for Play, claims 3-4 hours a day of conflict-free freedom and purposelessness, outside the urgency of time, is desirable for our well-being. This may translate to reading, hiking, dancing, listening to music, watching your children/grandchildren play or whatever else allows you to “find/follow your bliss.” Spontaneously done for its own sake, play produces spontaneous pleasure and joy—and leads to the next level of practice.
Neoteny, a fancy word that means adults are designed to retain our capacity to play, gives us a leg up on adaptability. As a side note, Stuart Brown suggests something I’ve not seen before: our retention of the capacity to play, and the resultant immaturity that goes with it, have implications, he says, for policy making and for parenting. This will require further investigation/conversation.
To be playful and wise does not mean one is hedonistic or irresponsible. We can be playful and we can be empathetic, compassionate and caring–when there is something left over, a surplus or a reserve. To infuse our life with play, whether body, object, social, fantasy, transformational or spectator-type play, is a desirable and good thing.
Play is an indispensable part of being human. Play builds talents and character. Play encourages us to seek out novelty and newness—and play offers a glimpse of the divine.
I so appreciate having had the opportunity to experience play for four days at CAM. That experience provided me with insights and questions to investigate when I got home. My learning has been fueled amply by all those who attended CAM and agreed to play.
The next time I’m asked, “What do you do?” my answer will be the same—and qualitatively different! My body knows—and so do my head and my heart.
*Over the course of his clinical career. Dr. Stuart Brown interviewed thousands of people to capture their play profile. (He was the founding Clinical Director and Chief of Psychiatry at Mercy Hospital and Medical Center as well as an Associate Professor at UCSD in San Diego, CA.) His cataloging of their profiles demonstrated the active presence of play in the accomplishments of the very successful and also identified negative consequences that inevitably accumulate in a play-deprived life.
Lable Braun are discussing. 
Suzi Pomerantz 10:49 am on January 24, 2011 Permalink |
You may get a kick out of this…in terms of sizing up the universe, Lable, someone just yesterday emailed me this cool little slider doo-dad that lets you scale the universe up and down and really see the powers of ten at work. Use the slider with your mouse or your arrow keys: http://htwins.net/scale/index.html